"Rockin' the Boat" Acrylic on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae
Folks, for someone who typically don’t engage in the reality show shenanigans, and ultimately get caught up, well, they get pissed off. Who are they, you ask. With great reluctance, I raise my right hand to confess, that would be me. I’ve been trying to keep that reality about myself in the closet but it’s been eating at me and I could use a bit of help.
That one and only reality show I’ve put committed time to is Basketball Wives. See, in making this confession to y’all, I had to confront some startling realities about myself. That is, folks, if I were somewhat popular in internet circles, this piece of writing would promote a show that I hate to love watching. And for my own sake, I readily admit, that if this particular post puts the digital radar on me for loathing the glorification of suppose-be-real TV, I would strike a pose for the paparazzi with those Basketball Wives come rain, sleet or snow. Just tell me where to be and I’m there with Christmas lights on, baby. I ain’t playing.
See folks, reality TV ain’t about fifteen fabulous moments in the spotlight. It’s about getting noticed. Period. And you gotta do crazy shit to keep your name out there. I just gotta deliberate on just far I’m willing to go before I step my ass out there. I was telling Little Totsy I was gonna do a vlog and how I was gonna set it up and all and the child told me, “Mommy, pleeeease,” so I’m plotting an alternate plan. Now, I thought of sending my cover work to Women’s Wear Daily Magazine and Vanity but I don’t think they’d be all that interested since it’s been done before.
That week the big fight ensued on Basketball Wives, you would’ve been utterly embarrassed to see me trying to make sure I hadn’t missed seeing those women folk make a spectacle of themselves. To give you insight on how much I was immersed in the propaganda, I was watching previews from the previous week and thought I had missed the show when this big fight took place. Immediately, I got on the computer and “liked” Basketball Wives on Facebook in order to make a self-righteous comment and see the fight I thought I’d missed.
Shit, turned out I hadn’t missed it after all and I didn’t spoil it by clicking the video to see the fight. I waited patiently, like one would want to watch a movie with a good plot unfold. I wanted to hear dialogue of she-said-she-said stupid shit so I could make an intellectual assessment of sensationalized television that demoralizes African American women from my freaking ivory tower. Yes, I did. See, this shit all started with me passing through the den to get to the kitchen, which was wrong in and of itself ’cause my ass shouldn’t have been eating at no 9 o’ damn clock at night. Those loud heifers started grabbing my attention and next thing you know, I’m tuning into the shit like clockwork.
Folks, I so want to be better (pounding the kitchen table) but I’ve been re-programmed to feeling a sense of enjoyment at watching a reality show that’s everything but reality, on some level anyway. The thing with that is, some of it is real ’cause like us, they’re real folks and the one woman who took quite a licking in that fight is suing the licker.
Hmph, I really fault my mother for this affinity I have to a show like this. I mean, if I’d never been immersed in the world of wrestling way back when, going to see live matches and all, I wouldn’t be addicted to that show. This is one flaw I refuse to take responsibility for. In the meantime, while the show’s had its season finale and no other reality shows have appealed to me, I’ll be able to pull myself from the abyss of reality TV.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
I’ve never been a huge fan of reality TV (I love fiction in books and on screen) but the few shows I have watched are addictive. Watch once and you just can’t help getting sucked in.
Same here…I can only shake my head at myself.
After watching the “Real” Housewives of Atlanta with all their drama, I decided that was one reality show too much. I still tune in every so often when it’s on.
You’re right though — the people on these shows have to make that 15 minutes count so they do all kinds of crazy crap to get noticed. What a world! Get rewarded (read: make money) by being nasty, bad, slutty, whatever. And we watch! What a world!
I’m sure if my mother was alive to see these shows, she’d be saying, God’s coming, real soon!
I’m not a prude by any stretch but sometimes I feel like we’re living in the modern equivalent of Sodom. In the meantime, I’ll take a look at Basketball Wives.
I never watched any of the Housewives shows. I understand one of those women made her way to Donald Trump’s You’re Fired (Is that what it’s called?).
I’ve seen previews of those Bachelor shows and I always thought how nasty it was to kiss one guy and turn around and kiss another right after. Eeeeeewwwwww!
Your mother’s right, God is coming soon and we are in Sodom. I need to get my little self together.
Yes, she was. I don’t like her character but seems television doesn’t like you if you’re not packing drama. What about women being genteel? None of that happening here. Sad.
I agree. I watched the finale of the bachelor last year (I think) not because I was interested in the show. We had just come back from SA and I wanted to see the backdrop, which was beautiful. It’s glorified prostitution, if you ask me!
I remember my first introduction to reality shows in the 90′s. My kids were tuned into MTV’s The Real World. I sat down to watch an episode. So it’s like ten folks about 20 to 25 years old, shuttled over to Hawaii to live in a 10,000 square foot beachfront home, with an endless supply of liquor, and glam jobs like interning in a recording studio, or organizing a concert, and of course eating out at some of the most posh restaurants, and clubbing all night long.
Yeah, that’s an accurate representation of the real world for a 20 something year old unemployed kid… (where’s the big rolly eyed emoticon when you need one?)
Oh Phil, you’re no fun.
I’m rolling my eyes now.
Last night, as I was scrolling through the channel line up to get a weather update, I came across Basketball Wives, post season interviews or something like that. Of course I put it on and had no idea of who all those women were, but there was a lot of dissing and debating, and I kind of felt sorry for the poor guy caught in the middle of what looked to be a good fight. While I had no idea of what that was all about, knowing you had just blogged about this and might have been watching just made me smile. See what you’ve done Totsy!?!? Although I did move on to get the weather update – hope you didn’t mind.
I saw it already, Phil.
Don’t feel sorry for him. He was a commentator/instigator, keeping the drama going. You know that was John Salley, former NBA player. He got a kick out of those women going back and forth.
“Folks, I so want to be better (pounding the kitchen table)…” beautiful call for help, though I had to chuckle.
Most television, and a lot of entertainment nowadays is overdone sickening. I haven’t turned on my tv in months, and for years before then I used to let that cable 1 channel scroll for hours while I read or wrote. As a matter of fact, the latest reality show I watched *and loved* was Fear Factor, and they snatched that one right off the air. I guess that one was really *too* real.
At any rate, just turn off the thing. And I know it’s hard, which if it helps any, there are a number of bad habits I need to kick but still hang on to;-) …it’s just So long as *we* see our issues.
Girl, how do you know what’s going on in the world? You read the news? Or you a Mormon?
I didn’t use to watch TV, outside of news type shows, like Dateline, 60 Minutes, etc. You talk about a serious person, I was. But then, I was pretty rigid in some ways, by my own choice and some imposed by other influences.
I never saw Fear Factor.
Oh Totsymae, well you ARE honest at all costs. You are obviously not alone in your love of reality t.v.! I used to watch Real World back when it was more, um, real. Then I watched the first Housewives of OC and that was pretty good, but then got to raunchy for me. The other ones I can’t even stomach. I like the contest shows like Top Chef and Project Runway. It’s a strange phenomenon, but most of us are voyers way deep inside!
You know, I’ve indulged in Project Runway too and America’s Next Top Model, now that I think about it. I never viewed them as reality shows but you’re right. Hmmmm…..I’m nervous that I may need to be sitting in a circle for group therapy now.
Hmmmm Im totally guilty of that show and Bad Girls Club. I’m also guilty for wanting to help them fight because I am a trained boxer.Please forgive me lord. These shows are my guilty pleasure and I understand it’s just for five minutes of fame.
You are a very bad girl for wanting to jump in and help fight. LoL!!!
Come to think of it, that might be deconstructively cathartic.
Who did you wanna help? Meeka? I felt sorry for her. She didn’t have
the gift for B.S. like the other ones. Tami reigns as queen on that show-.
I’m like, so stuck right now. I do need help, a patch or something…
—Tots,
I am addicted to American Idol, Project Runway, & So You Like To Dance.
Do they count as reality Tv.?
–I am also beginning to watch “Millinonaire Matchmaker”
OMG.. I am such a loser.
xx
Shows like American Idol would be talent shows.
There are so many different types of
talent and reality shows, I can’t keep count
of them and I haven’t seen most. I enjoy
project Runway too. I think it’s a smart show
because you get to see people work
through creative processes and come up
w/unique designs. So, we aren’t losers.
Btw, I heard this week that Paula Abdul’s
trying to compete with the younger and
slimmer talent show judges and is around
90 lbs. I’m afraid for her. So much pressure
in the Hollywood industry.
You’re human, Tots. Forgive yourself for your guilty pleasure. And remember this, admitting the problem is the first step to solving it (but only after the season is over).
You did a great job exposing the show, the genre, and yourself. Bravo once again!
Yeah, I’m entitled, right?
(Doesn’t sound like I’m genuine about that help I ask for, does it?)
Thanks. I think that show owes me a few bucks for the exposure.
I feel like Meeka is a trouble maker uncontrollably. She don’t even know what she doing. Jen and Evelyn sound like their accent is fake. I wanna snake Evelyn for thinking she bad throwing drinks in ppl face constantly. They would have the police on standby for me. Lol.
I think Suzie’s the biggest trouble-maker, telling everything. Meeka was too
but she has more redeeming qualities than Suzie.
Yeah, Jen and Evelyn are fake. And Jen’s husband is right, she doesn’t know
who she is. I loved that part where he threw the wine in her face.
Girl, you need to be on that show and put those fighting moves on Tami. She’s
a bully. You could be a friend from back in the day. Liven it up some more. LoL!
LOL. Girl cause all that pulling hair aint gone fly. I would touch and deliver Tami…. A hot mess LOL and yes I forgot about ole trouble making Suzie.
“Touch and deliver”
I like that!
LoL!!!
First off, love “Rockin’ the Boat.” I lost my interest in reality shows when I found out that they weren’t really “reality.” I had a near relative involved in “Cops.” They did retakes on the arrests. Told criminals and police what to say, where to stand. To the point of some of the episodes were scripted. Very little of the show was spontaneous, or as it happened. I like talent shows like “America’s Got Talent” and “American Idol” but you have all the housewives, and the brothers, and the kitchens of hell.
Thank you (liking the painting).
My sister used to love Cops. I couldn’t get into that one. Now that your say the
show was scripted, it does seem like some of the cops couldn’t remember
their lines. I think, us, bloggers should have a show.
In my experience, it’s always a mistake to walk into the kitchen at 9 o’clock at night. But if Basketball Wives is the worst you got into, you’re not doing too badly. With me, it’s usually chocolate.
I’m a chocolate lover too. I need help with that too. What’s wrong
with me? (pounding the table again)
I can’t watch any of the Wives reality shows. I’m too embarrassed by them. Why do these women have to behave like that? And by the way, 75% of them aren’t even wives!
I know none of them are actual wives and Evelyn never was one. They just
have affiliations. I wanna know how much they get paid because I hear
those shows don’t pay much, which is why they are so exaggerated; trying
to get the attention of other people in certain positions.
I know what you mean about reality shows.Sometimes they are habit forming. I’ve never watched Basketball Wives, but I have gotten hooked on a couple like So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway. I found myself planning my evening around them. It’s amazing the hold they have over some people.
Project Runway isn’t as bad of some of the others. At least their producing
something besides drama. And quite honestly, sometimes I work hard
and feel entitled to do anything I want, like watching reality TV.
And thanks, glad you like the art.
Forgot to tell you…I absolutely love your art work. “Rockin’ The boat” is amazing. Love your use of primary color.
That picture is wonderful. You’re very talented.
Thank you, Helen.
Have you watched Bachelor Pad?
I mean, not that I have. I don’t watch that stuff. I’m so far above all that…is it Monday night yet???
I haven’t seen Bachelor Pad. Not aiming to be a regular at watching reality shows.
LOL!!! Gee, baby girl, I never knew wrestling did that to you.
Yep, I’m damaged.
Ooooh Totsymae, ‘Rockin the Boat” really rocks!!
Now ’bout this ‘Reality Show’ bug y’got “Basketball Wives”. It’s cool – seriously – take it easy on y’self. I’d lay a bet, London-to-a-brick, that heaps of us have watched one or t’uther of ‘em regularly. I never miss an episode of “Customs” and also try and catch “Airport”. I’m a people-watcher and these shows are like attending tutorials, fascinating stuff – for me leastways, cheers catchul8r molly
Thank you, Molly.
I feel better, you saying that and all. Besides, it’s only one hour. One day a week, The season is a few short weeks long. I’m a people-watcher too, so I’ll do my research on those shows. Writers can’t live in a box. We have to know what’s out there. I think they’re great to use as tutorials and I’ll treat it as such.
Liked the article, find it quite interesting……….
Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Hey Totsymae, I was away from the internet for a while and could not read any on the blogs I follow, I missed all of them all a lot ,yours especially and I know why, you make me laugh!!!
I have to laugh. I started off fairly innocently with Top Chef. It actually gave me inspiration to cook. Then I added Project Runway because I told myself it was sort of creative and inspirational. By the time I was listening to young women shriek “Tyra Mail”, I should have realized there was something wrong. I started watching “Cops” by the hour and “The Real World” on MTV as well. Then “Cheaters” and “To Catch a Predator” caught my eye and I began to realize I had a problem. I joined a support group and conquered my addiction with the 12 steps. I was tired of muting the tv every time the phone rang and lying to my husband about what I did all day. I switched to doing a little cocaine in the morning and that has me sailing through housework and singing the whole time. Much better for me.
When I looked back, I’ve watched Top Model and Project Runway
too. I peeped on on Cheaters a couple of times. Oh, I’m awful
and desperately in need of a life.