Illustration and cover design by Totsymae. Copyright 2011
Come Monday morning, Desperita sprung up before the rooster call and dashed her ass in that bathroom with the jacuzzi tub and double sinks she figured she’d be sharing with somebody real soon. That somebody being Bootleg Man, of course.
She showered and imagined him in there with her. Brushed her teeth and visualized his toothbrush next to hers and her imaginings marched her right on down the damn church aisle. Shit, life was about to be better than good for her and folk on the job, in that little school she had second charge of, saw a different stride in her step on that day.
Shit, the way Desperita bounced about in that school, folk would’ve thought she’d overdosed on a bottle of Fucking Happy. Single women, like her, got to rolling their eyes and shit, seeing her all jipper. Being that Desperita was typically a take-no-prisoners bitch, women folk didn’t like all that happy she had going on.
“Hmph, somebody must’ve tapped that ass this weekend,” one of the teachers, Ms Invee, who had staked a claim in celibacy, said. Well, she’d really done it ’cause her back was flat against the wall of not finding anybody to stick with her evil ass long enough to lay down with her.
“I say, that’s one lucky dude,” said Mr. Hardy, as he kept a close watch on Desperita’s ass and seeing her do something like a skip and dance, she was so light on her feet as she cleared students out of the halls.
Desperita was a happy woman though. All she could think about was her conversation with this new man she couldn’t wait to break off a piece to. He blew up her cell phone over the last two days with sweet ass text messages. Well, there wasn’t anything special about what he said actually but lonely and wanna-man-real-bad heifers like her were taken in by the simplest shit.
How U doing?
U up yet?
Been thinking bout U.
Can’t get U off my mind, girl.
Whatchu wearing? was what he’d text her around bedtime and her silly ass would get to giggling and shit, forgetting her mama raising her not to be easy. Desperita wasn’t thinking about no shit like that, obviously. By the time they were done texting on the second night, she took out one of her many sex toys and got busy. Therefore, making Monday a mighty fine day for her.
After she was done making her rounds in the halls, she made it on back to her office where Bootleg Man had sent her more messages to light up her little life.
Don’t work 2 hard, baby.
Y I keep thinking bout U?
U already put a spell on me.
Desperita locked up her office, so nobody would get in the way of her answering back.
Ur so sweet.
He sent her a smiley face, talking about he bet she was even sweeter and he couldn’t wait to see just how sweet she was and he could only imagine what her lips tasted like, on top and below and oh, he was sorry if he went too far ’cause she was such a classy lady and he didn’t mean no disrespect and all that blahsay, blahsay, bullshit that made her think he was just the sweetest and most thoughtful man to come in her life in a long ass time.
Naturally, saying it was okay, that she wasn’t offended by his too soon for alluding to her private body parts, opened the gate for him to basically fuck her over the phone, right there in her damn office. Shit, Bootleg Man reached in his stash of hot sex bank and got to blowing the hell outta that woman’s cell. If Desperita had been sitting in that chair with her ass bare, she would’ve slipped right on outta that leather seat!
Copyright 2011 Totsymae
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Poor Desperita……and we thought men were bad, letting the little head rule the big. Can’t wait to read more.
Yeah, poor ole Desperita throwing her mother’s advice to the wind. I wonder if she’ll ever learn. (tapping my fingers on the table and waiting).
Lol, yes missy. I suspect you’ll be like my grandmother and do more than tap your fingers on the table.
I am worried about her, she is moving way too fast!
You make me smile, Ariana. Desperita needs a friend like you to tell her so. Will she get one? Stay tuned as the story of Desperita and Bootleg Man unfolds.
LOL! Slow down Desperita. Great story.
I tried to tell her but that’s Desperita for you.
Glad you enjoyed the second chapter.
Hmmm- I have been Bootleg Man and have known a few women like ‘Desperita’. Memories…
You’re funny…Reminiscing and all! LoL!
Your Desperita is probably sitting somewhere, pissed off with you and herself to this day when she reflects.
To my knowledge, she still basks in the after-glow… When I do it, “I does it right!” Besides, I don’t spend too much time talking about it before making it happen. If I sense it is just ‘text-titillation’, I move on. Saves me frustration and her self-loathing.
Well, long as you both are happy and proud of it. Long as you’re not the Bootleg man from Chapter 1, I suppose texting is mild, in comparison.
Do I pay attention to a woman’s appearance, surroundings, and manner of speech? Hell, yes. But that is to judge her QUALITY- not to size her up for exploitation…
I get assessing a woman and we appreciate the quality you’re, hopefully, looking for. I mean, you’re both grown folk and all. There are different levels of Bootleg Men and Desperitas, you know
I agree- there is variety in everything!
And I can always count on you to bring some variety here.
LOL!!! I have some friends that act like this chick. Showing off those simple text msgs and giggling all damn day…SMDH!
Yes, there are a number of women out there like that. I’m smdh too.
Great writing, Totsymae! This one steams its way right to the top! Some of your expressions are priceless…like, “folk would’ve thought she’d overdosed on a bottle of Fucking Happy” and “Ms Invee, who had staked a claim in celibacy.”
It’s that excitement with a new claim. Wild how love removes the world for awhile. Wonderful writing!
Thank you, Annie. I’m trying.
Where do you come up with some of your word-pictures? I find the way you write almost like poetry in prose form.
This is sizzling stuff. Who is Disperita? Is she Everywoman or certain women or a certain woman? Or is that left up to the reader to figure out?
Keep the lyrical prose rolling…
Lorna, I do dabble in poetry on occasion. I don’t know if that’s what you’re hearing. Maybe? I’m digging from the vernacular of southern and African American culture, pretty much. Statements like yours are always encouragement for me though,
Oh no, Desperita is not every woman. She is certain women. Some are just more obvious in their behaviors and there are those who may keep a low profile, pretty much like what you’ve read here, but still act hastily in their quest for happily ever after.
Oh Desperita. What loneliness will do to a person.
She reminds me of a friend of mine, so busy looking for someone to make her to happy she never learned how to make herself happy. I am looking forward to the next chapter!
Yes, Desperita is in a not so good place with herself now. I’m glad you’re enjoying the story. Desperita has some learning to do.
—Tots,
This is some hot shit, girl.
Can’t wait to see what happens next…
Desperita is so likeable….like many women we all know…
xxxx
PS. you are priceless.
You’re something else, Kim.
Yes, I think Desperita is a person all of us know.
I hope to return soon with her.
Hugs to U.
Totsy Mae, this piece feels so fresh and original. What I love about your writing, is you let nothing get in the way of your imagination. Look forward to the next installment!
Thank you.
You know, it’s only when I sit down to write that I get it figured out.
I have no idea what will happen next! I’m gonna take another day
or so to see what materializes.