I like folk on generalities. Firsthand, that’s all you’ve got to go on before that first conversation gives you enough information as to whether you might wanna have a second encounter or you want them to stay the hell away from you. I truly believe in loving mankind and all that good-sounding stuff but you and me both know there are some folk we have to love from a distance. Straight up. At this very moment, I’m on a serious fast with a couple, no, three folk. ‘Cause I’m telling you, Totsy’s got herself a real low tolerance for bullshit, especially that repetitive kind. You know that brand where folk keep taking you on their screw-up rides and it feels like deja damn vu. Life is short, folks. So in turn, you want it to be sweet and damn near delicious, if you can help it. And who the hell don’t like delicious?
I’ve been thinking on this here person who I’ve been fasting from, who lives a good hop, skip and back-flip away from me. We made a fast and steady little friendship. She’s a woman. I’m a woman. She likes to laugh. I like to tell jokes. So on and so damn forth. I went to her little birthday party awhile back and y’all know, this is when you get familiar with shit you weren’t banking on. Same kinda shit akin to what you discover and can’t stand about that man or woman you were sleeping with after you fell on the deep side of love and it’s too late to turn back ’cause you too old to be starting over or you’ve put on weight you didn’t have before you met his ass or ole girl knows how to work that new pole you’ve put in the bedroom but she can’t cook or keep a nickel in her pocket worth a damn and, like I said before, so on and so damn forth.
Well, Totsy gets herself on to the party and I tell you no lie, I couldn’t hear myself thinking, those folk were talking so loud. Wasn’t no music at this here party for them to be talking over either, mind you. One thought that came to me was that this new friend and I could never go out in public together ’cause she’s got too much volume. Anyhow, me and my little one go in the bathroom to wash up so we can get down with the little spread they got going on and I stop short of asking her ‘Why the hell are they talking so loud?’ Now, when I say it was a party, it was a little somethin’ somethin’ thrown together and I’ll be damned if the food wasn’t ready ’til 9 damn thirty or so and my ass all promptly over there at 6. I went over there on empty and got Little Totsy sitting over there hungry as hell too. So, ole Totsy wasn’t shy about saying she was ready to damn eat. Where’s the shit at? And I’ll be damn if I didn’t fill my plate up and the shit wasn’t good. You talking about one disappointed and dissatisfied bitch, I was. It’s some unfortunate shit for you and the cook when you put some food in your mouth you don’t want to chew up and swallow. I had to swing me and Little Totsy by a fast food joint after we left there.
Now, back to the fasting thing (see what happens when you get all wound up?) This same woman whose party I went to took a verbal knife to Totsy’s back some time after the party. Yes, she did, folks. See, I confided some stuff, nothing real personal but stuff all the same, you know, and she slaps that shit back at me like a rattle snake licking my face. I mean, I saw little shit here and there on this road we’re on together but Totsy ain’t paying none of that no nevermind ’cause we girls and all but you’ve gotta recognize when little shit ain’t really little at all. Matter of fact, it’s big as hell but you’re having too good of a time to notice, ’til that little prick you felt starts feeling like somebody shot you in the ass. I have to tell you, I’ve been deliberating on this here person and while I miss high fiving and hell yeahing with her and all that other good stuff, I’ve got myself an issue with moonwalking back to where something ain’t fittin’ right. And I’ll be the first to say I should’ve kept my damn mouth closed up, so that little heifer on the inside of me wouldn’t have been berating me with shit like, “I told yo’ ass.’ You know how it is and I don’t care what anybody says, hindsight ain’t nothing but a big ole bitch. It can be a complicated thing when you get to liking folk and they change your mind, ain’t it?